Home Again (but ready to go back)

In 14 days we were in 7 different countries – England, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.  By my calculations we sailed on a boat 1796 nautical miles, flew 10,072 miles and drove 200 miles.  We traveled by boat, bus, plane, and car.  I also figured I sat on approximately 184 different toilets in 14 days.  As they say in the commercial – “priceless.”

Thanks to Patrick, I came home to a house cleaner than the one I left.  Kevin staged an intervention and cleaned out my refrigerator.  I washed 8 loads of clothes on Saturday.  Bill’s first American culinary urge when we got back was BBQ and mine was bacon and turnip greens.

Due to heavy bags, we spent about $166 in overage fees and shipping clothes home.  I left about 12 pounds of goodies in Edinburgh to lighten our bags – umbrellas, hair dryer, curling iron, jelly beans I was taking to a friend, shoes, and a blouse that Bill said didn’t look good on me.  By the way, Bill, I don’t like the way a few of your Bass Pro shirts looked on you but didn’t tell you to put them in the garbage! We mailed our package ($86) from Edinburgh on Monday and it was home before we were on Friday.  Note to Bill – DO NOT ship home dirty underwear and socks.  I hate that I was the first one to open that box!

From this trip, I know these things to be true:

1. If you are seated next to a chatty Irishman, pretend you are asleep.  If he is cuddling you inappropriately, pretend you are asleep and it is Brad Pitt touching you.
2. You can in fact have 4 bags of potato chips for your 3 meals a day.
3. I appreciate my big washer and dryer.  In the homes in Northern Ireland, they are miniature and can wash one pair of socks and two pair of underwear at a time.
4. I never want to hang my bras on a clothesline in Ireland again.  It almost reached the ground.  Roberta put a tea towel over them so no one would notice, but I really needed a beach towel.
5. Plan for it to rain.  In fact plan for it to rain 12 out of 14 days.  Make sure you have a good raincoat because an umbrella just does not work.  Naturally you plan all of your touring thinking there will be beautiful sunshine.  Stick to your plans and get wet.  You can dry your underwear out with a hair dryer.
6. If you don’t have knee trouble before you leave, you will when you get back.
7. Travel makes your world bigger.  You meet new people and get to “live” history.  There is no better education than travel.
8. I am grateful for the friends I made on this trip and for my “family,” the Lyles, in Northern Ireland.  There is another Terri Dean in the world and her name is Roberta Lyle.  No one can make me laugh like she does.
9. Don’t put off travel “until you have the money.”  You will never get to go anywhere.  Dream a dream and you will find ways to save the money.
10. Bill, you do not need shorts in Scandinavia, Northern Ireland, or Scotland this time of year.


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Last Leg of the Trip

For our last leg of the trip we flew from Edinburgh to Belfast.  Again, this was a regional airline with very strict baggage weight requirements.  We had really lightened our load by giving away stuff and mailing things home.  Once we got on the plane, Bill and I gave each other a fist bump because we didn’t get charged for overweight luggage.  However, I have been very insulted that they always feel the need to put a big orange “Heavy” sticker on my bag.  Glad they didn’t make me wear one around my neck!

Our plane was very comfortable and spacious.  We were on schedule and Roberta and Owen were going to be waiting to pick us up in Belfast.  Life was good – for a few minutes.  I had never heard the term “bird strike” before; however, I do remember the pilot having a crash landing in the Hudson Bay because of a bird.  Well, we are in this great airplane going full speed down the runway almost ready to lift off.  The plane stops so hard my head hit the seat in front of me.  It then slides and turns slightly sideways on the runway.  I thought we had hit another plane and my children were going to collect on the insurance money.  However, a “very large bird”, according to the pilot, had flown into one of the engines.  They pulled the plane over and several emergency vehicles pulled up to check the damage.  The pilot walked down the aisle to make sure everyone was OK.  I asked him how long this would take because I had a ride waiting for me in Belfast. I told him I really needed to get in touch with them so he gives me his cell phone to call.  We ended up having to wait for another plane to hitch a ride.  And I didn’t even take my Xanax for this flight!

Roberta and Owen had our day planned so that we would go to their house by way of the coastal road that is at the very top of Northern Ireland.  I have been there before and it is a beautiful ride.  However, the weather was not cooperating and it was raining hard.  Our first stop was the Giant’s Causeway which is the most visited site in Northern Ireland.  It is a formation of hexagonal stones that cannot be found anywhere else on earth.  It is quite a steep walk down there and back.  It was cold, windy and rainy which was not a great introduction to Northern Ireland for Bill.  We walked down and I said there is no way I am walking back up so we took a little bus back to the top.  We spent about 15 minutes at this most memorable site.

Rainy weather is something you expect in Ireland so we plugged on through.  The rain stopped for a while and we were able to go to a beach on the North Sea and to the top of a mountain.  Bill declared that this was the prettiest part of Ireland.
This was my seventh trip to Northern Ireland but Bill had never been so we had to play tourists for him.  We took him to the city of Derry/Londonderry.  We had a very interesting bus tour and walked the walls around the old city.  They have recently built a “Peace Bridge” which we also walked.

When I first came to Northern Ireland 11 years ago, there was unrest between the Catholics and Protestants.  The British had troops in the country and it was not really opened up to tourists.  Now that there is a semblance of peace, the tourists are there.  There were busloads at the Giant’s Causeway and they are invading Derry.  I liked it better when I was the only weird accent there.

Naturally, my favorite part of Northern Ireland is the people.  I have been fortunate enough to make friends there but could not visit them all on this short trip.  Some of the young people from there who have spent time at my home have babies now so I felt like an honorary grandmother.  My adopted Aunt Nettie in Omagh fixed us a wonderful meal and we had a great visit.

Poor Bill was pretty lost in all conversations – not only are the accents difficult to understand but everyone talks at the same time.  He had a pretty blank expression on his face most of the time and replied yes to everything they said.  For example, “Bill, where did you go today?”  His answer, “Yes.”  “Bill, what kind of work do you do?”  Bill’s reply, “Yes.”  “Bill, what kind of beer do you like?”  Bill: “Yes” etc……..

I am very grateful for my friends in Northern Ireland and their continued hospitality.  They really should be tired of me after 11 years!

Last Day in Edinburgh

Thankfully, Bill’s morning sickness has passed.  I ran his butt all around Edinburgh today.  We decided to go to Rosslyn Chapel which was in the last scene of the movie/book, “The DaVinci Code.”  There were various tours offered but I decided we would do it the cheap way.  After all, it is just a bus ride away.   We asked three different people how to get to the correct bus stop and got three different answers.  The one who was correct is the only stuttering bus driver in Edinburgh so it took me a while to get the information out of him.  I almost asked him to sing it (stutterers don’t stutter when they sing).  When we finally got to the right bus stop, after jaywalking back and forth down a busy street. We were freezing and had to wait 45 minutes because we missed the bus.

Although there is extensive preservation ongoing on Rosslyn Chapel, it was very interesting, especially after seeing the movie.  You were not allowed to take pictures inside so I can’t post any of those.  However, I will put up a picture of me standing on the same bridge that Tom Hanks stood at the end of the movie.  We did much better catching the correct bus on the way back.

We took a cab to the top of the Royal Mile, the part that Bill got sick on and walked down the places we flashed by yesterday.  Deacon Brodie’s is a café/tavern where Robert Lewis Stevenson got his character for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Had a wonderful dessert at the café and walked across the street and had a wonderful pint at the tavern.

I really wanted to go on a tour of the underground vaults of Edinburgh.  They had several types of tours – historical tour, ghost finding tour, and scary tour.  When Patrick and I were here years ago we checked into the tour.  I asked the lady how scary it was and she said, “You may pee your pants.”  That was pre-bladder surgery and I thought I would be tempting fate with that one.  Now I have a fully-reconstructed bladder and thought I could do it easily.  But guess what – Bill wimped out.  I guess he thought he would do more than just pee his pants.

We spent out final meal with our new found friend, Paul Mcsomething at Rabbie Burns Bar.  Paul has been so kind to us and we really enjoy his company.  He sits with us while we eat and talks.  Bill can’t understand a word he says but has learned to nod appropriately.  Paul is a Mason so I asked him all about the legends of the Knights of the Templar and Rosslyn Chapel.  He pretty much told me they were just Hollywood.

For our last day in Edinburgh, the weather cooperated.  It was cold, much colder than in Scandinavia, but it did not rain.  We actually saw a bit of the sun today.  Tomorrow we will fly to Belfast where our friends will pick us up.  We shipped home shoes and clothes so we can hopefully make the baggage weight limit on the flight to Belfast.

I have had over 650 hits on this blog so far and am thrilled that someone is reading it.  Thanks.  Will write from Northern Ireland.

Barfy Billy in Edinburgh

If you read my previous post, you will know that Bill isn’t feeling well.  He thinks he is seasick but we have been on land for 2 days.  He said the bed felt like it was rocking all night and he got sick from it.  Also in my previous post I told you about our overweight bag issue.  I dreamed I was on a cruise in Mexico (?) and all of my luggage fell into the water.  I think we are both suffering from some type of Post Traumatic Travel Stress Disorder.

Despite Bill having morning sickness we were going to make a day of it.  Since it is Sunday a lot of things are closed so we decided to take a bus to Stirling Castle.  We followed the directions to the bus station and they said there was not a bus going out from there and to go to a bus stop about 3 blocks (we overwalked and made it about 5 blocks).  When we got there I asked a local about how long it would take us to get to Stirling.  He said you don’t want to take the bus because it makes too many stops and advised us to take the train.  We walked to the train station that was an underground madhouse.  Bill started going a little autistic on me and told me to get into a cab.  I checked the taxi in the front of the line and didn’t see anyone.  So I went to the next taxi ask me if he could take us since the one in front was empty.  He said there was someone in there and I had to take that one.  I looked again and the front left seat was empty.  The I realized the driver was on the right side.

We spent about 3 hours at Edinburgh Castle.  The wind was blowing and it was cold and misty.  Despite the weather, it was an interesting morning.  I have been to the castle before with Patrick but Bill was a castle virgin.  He enjoyed the history and beauty of it.

I have posted a picture of a bagpiper that we watched.  My son, Patrick, likes to watch a show called “Mythbusters.”  I starting thinking that I needed to investigate the myth about what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.  As he was blowing away on his pipes, I rolled a coin at his feet.  When I went to retrieve the coin, I took a peek up the kilt.  This was purely a scientific investigation.  Well, this particular Scotsman wears whitey tighties.

My good friend and traveler aficionado, Pamela Van Doren, told me that a good place to eat was “The Witchery.”  It is right down from the castle so I suggested we try it.  Bill was very nauseous but was a good sport and went anyway.  It is a very posh restaurant where stars like to eat - Jack Nicholson, Pierce Brosnan, Catherine Zeta Jones.  Bill was really feeling pretty sick and thought he was going to throw up.  I told him maybe if he ate something he would feel better – my cure for all ailments.  They had soup and mushroom risotto which was about the cheapest thing on the menu.  I thought he was going to hurl when they brought the soup.  It was green pea soup with bits of ham at the bottom.  The lady sitting next to me was a chef from England.  She told me the meat is called trotter, which means it is from the hooves of pigs and a real delicacy.  The meat was good without the soup.  Needless to say Bill didn’t eat anything.

I finally gave in and said maybe we should go back to the hotel and let him lay down a while.  He was afraid he would ruin my fun and said for us to just go on to the next thing on my list.  It was a place called Gladstone’s Land.  It was an old house with a turret stairway that told the story about how a resident of Edinburgh may have lived in the 16th century.  There were volunteer docents in each room who enjoyed sharing their knowledge.  I found it very interesting.  Bill told me to take the stuff out of my plastic bag because he was going to hurl.  We ran out trying to find a place for him to throw up.  Being the good sport that he was, we returned and finished the house tour.

Sorry I don’t have many pictures of the day.  My hands were full because Bill was using my bag for his seasickness.

I really think Bill is pregnant.

Packing Wars: Part Two and Edinburgh: Night One

We safely docked at Southampton and were the first to get off the ship in order to catch our plane to Edinburgh.  I pride myself in planning but failed miserably on this part.  When our bags were weighed in Memphis when we left, mine weighed 50.5 pounds and Bill's weighed 49 pounds so we just barely made it on the weight limit.  Our backpacks were about 20 pounds a piece and I now look like I have scoliosis.

I am sure you are asking, "Why were your bags so heavy?"  Two reasons: (1) I have some gifts to bring to Roberta and her family.  I carefully chose light weight gifts.  Additionally I mailed a box to her with orders not to open it until I got there.  It cost me $54 to mail that box.  (2) When starting a trip on a cruise, you need more clothes because essentially you are having to wear two outfits a day - one for the day and a little more dressy at night.  I did wear things twice and washed in the laundry on the ship.  You need to have at least two pair of shoes just in case one gets wet.  I had only two pair of shoes.  Bill had four pair.  He just had to bring his heavy sandals to go with his shorts.

We flew with a regional turboprop from Southampton to Edinburgh.  They have VERY strict weight requirements for bags.  For two people you can have a total of 40 kilos which is just over 80 pounds.  Remember we started with 99 pounds of luggage in Memphis.  The lady said one bag was OK and could go through but I would have to "rearrange", in other words lose some weight out of the bags.  Bill was talking to her about extra charges and I was tricking her by putting heavier stuff in the bag that she said was OK.  Pure genius!  We still had to pay overweight charges of $81.50.

Here is my dilema: when flying to Belfast, we will again be on a regional jet that is even more strict about the weight. Their website says they will not let you on the plane if your bags exceed the weight.  Bill said we would just have to leave clothes here in the hotel.  I told him NO because it is hard to find fat woman's clothes.  I told him to leave 3 pair of shoes.

I went to the front desk and asked about the nearest post office.  At this point I am going to ship a bunch of shoes back with some non-necessary but things I am not going to donate to the housekeeper here.  The front desk clerk found me a box (it said Office Depot on the side) and I stuffed as much as I could in it.  I am going to take it to the post office tomorrow and see if they can tape it up and ship it home.  I am sure it will be expensive but that beats missing a flight. If I don't make it home it means I refused to part with anything else.

We are staying at a Holiday Inn on Cowgate Street one block from the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.  I chose it because of it's location, price, free WiFi, and free breakfast.  What the guidebook I read didn't tell me was that to get from the hotel to the main street you have to walk up a ski slope!  Anyway, the rooms are nice and the staff have been very patient with my incessant questions.

When we got here, we bought tickets for the Hop-on-and-Off bus to get an overview of the town.  These hit all the major attractions.  You wear ear buds and hear a guide telling you what you are seeing and giving you historical information.  For some reason Bill would not wear the ear buds and kept asking me, "What's that?"  My patience may be waning because I wanted to stick those buds in his ears or somewhere else.

We walked to Grassmartket St. which was apparently party central.  There were some very strange people there.  At one bar a bunch of guys were dressed like "Where's Waldo".  I was staring at them and turned around to a guy mooning the whole group.  It was rainy/misty weather but I saw the full moon.

We also went the Greyfriar's Cemetery which is the most haunted cemetery in the world.  I didn't see any ghosts, probably because the full moon from Grassmarket was burned in my retinas.

We had a few pints at a nearby pub.  The owner, Paul Mcsomething, was quite chatty.  When he found out it was our anniversary, he got a card of Robert Burns (who was a famous Scottish poet and also the name of the pub) and had the employees sign it for us.  I really appreciated that.

I will write a blog later about today.  I'll give you a little teaser - I think Bill has morning sickness.

Natasha here.  We are at sea today going through the English Channel.  Believe it or not, this is where we have the roughest water.  Bill and I have the little seasick patches behind our ears so all we have to do is make sure we don’t fall down when walking.  We gave away one patch to Susan, our British dinner partner because she got very sick coming through here on the way up.  I am thinking about selling the other three we have to pay off our bar bill.

Besides Brugges, Oslo was our second favorite place.  Having only until 3:30 to get back on the ship, I am glad that we had preplanned our day.  The Hop on and Off bus is the best way to get around and see what you want.  However, you do have to pre-research what you want to do or you will run out of time.  Coming into Oslo, you go through a very beautiful part of the country – the fjords.  We really wanted to see this and planned to get up very early.  The sun comes up around 3:30 in the morning.  We finally roused ourselves around 6:00 by which time we were already docked.  We did get to sit on our balcony on the way out and relax while watching the view.

As I looked out from our ship that morning, we were docked right outside a beautiful fortress.  For all of you Amazing Race fans, it was a pit stop on the Oslo leg.  It was imperative that I see the actual pit stop hoping Phil would be there to greet me, but it was quite a climb to get to the top.  Boris made it up halfway and sat on a bench and said for me to get him on the way down.  For some reason, he didn’t want to see the pit stop.

One of the most amazing things to see in Oslo is the Vigeland Sculpture Park.  It is full of naked statues depicting a complete human life from birth to death; therefore, I named it the Naked Park.  Almost every sculpture had a man in it so there were a lot of willies to see.  I wanted to put boxers on some of them because the lower regions were quite distracting. The most popular statue was called “The Angry Child” (see picture).  The park grounds of 84 hectares (don’t know how much that is but it was big) are well manicured and beautiful.  If not for seeing all of the naked men, it would have been very relaxing.

Since we are in Viking country, we went to the Viking Ship museum where we saw actually Viking ships that were excavated and put back together.  I can’t imagine having to ride in one of those, but they were probably quite beautiful in there time. The ships date back to 800 to 900 A.D.
Princess Cruise lines is not know for its food. We spotted a Hard Rock Café and got a huge hamburger and onion rings.  Boris was very happy at this stop.  Another place that I remembered from Oslo that was on the Amazing Race was the Ice Bar.  You put on a heavy poncho and gloves and walk into a room that is -5 degrees.  They serve you champagne out of an ice cup.  Boris couldn’t take sitting on the ice chair for very long so we didn’t stay our allotted 45 minutes.

I’ll bet your wonder what there is to do when you are stuck on the ship while sailing.  Our favorite activity has been sleeping.  Here are some different activities offered:
Musical shows – we went to one of these that was quite good.  Since this ship is full or Brits, they started off the show where everyone stood up and sang “God Save the Queen.”  This was one of the many songs that I don’t know the words.  
Pilates and Body Conditioning – I am sure that you are not surprised that Boris and I did not participate in either of these.
Trivia contests – I would have liked to have done this but it was geared toward the British passengers so I would not know any answers.
Ballroom Dancing – I couldn’t persuade Boris to do the rumba with me
Wine tasting – As some of you know, Boris is a self-proclaimed wine expert. We paid $25 a piece for the privilege of hearing a pompous bloke talk about how to drink wine.  I am use to gulping it down but now I know there is a protocol.  Once you get the wine in your mouth, you push it to the front of your teeth with your lips slightly open and make a funny little sound to help it oxygenate.  I took the sound making seriously which made a really weird noise.  I think the lady next to me thought I broke manners.
Karaoke – Boris did not allow me to participate in this one.  They have it set up like American Island and are hoping to select the champion tonight.  From what I have heard, I could have easily won with my rendition of “House of the Rising Sun.”
Golf Putting – this is on the top of the ship where it is the windiest and coldest.
Afternoon Tea – that would be Coke Zero for me.
Casino – Sorry Princess Cruise Lines, I have given you enough of my money.
Marriage Match Game show – Now this is something I wanted to sign up for Boris and I, but he refused.  After watching it, I realized we would never get a matching answer.

In the morning we will leave the ship at 7:00 and catch a plane to Edinburgh.  We have sailed a total of 2142 miles and been to 5 countries so far. Boris and I may revert to our original Christian names at this point; however, we may rename ourselves again.

Thanks for your continued readership,
Natasha

Bill and I have become so assimilated into Scandinavian culture that we have decided to change our names.  He has become Boris and I am now Natasha.

Today we have been in Helsinborg, Sweden.  This is not a very exciting port.  Additionally it was National Flag Day so most of the town was shut down.  We decided to do an excursion so we could at least see some of Sweden.  It was a half-day coastal drive with the most boring guide in the land, Helka.  She discussed the origins of potatoes, the Potato Academy, and how many herring are in the straight.  This was boring the first time but absolutely mind numbing the second time.  She frequently had word finding difficulties.  I wanted to scream out the word she was looking for but she finally came up with it.  For example, she would say, “How do you say dat?” and I wanted to scream the word “fence” which was the word she was looking for.  I noticed a little hammer near the glass of the bus that said, “Break glass in case of an emergency.”  Since I gradually felt myself losing control I was going to bust out the glass and jump from the cliff.

Our midpoint of this fabulous excursion for which we paid $89 a piece was to get out of the bus at Kullaberg peninsula.  We had only fifteen minutes so after going to the bathroom that left me five minutes.  I saw a hill with rocks and decided to do a little rock climbing in Sweden for the remainder of my valuable time.  Needless to say, I was the last one on the bus.  They turn off the air in the bus until it starts up.  A stodgy old Brit told me I better get on the bus that it was “roasting” in there.  I thought about using that glass-breaking hammer on her.

It is tradition in Sweden to have tea and cookies at 10:00 and 2:00.  I may start that tradition in the states.  It is called a “feka.”  For some reason I found the word hilarious and told Boris that we were having a feka matter.  He gave me one of his “shut up, Natasha” looks which made me giggle more.  So when I am at work, I will be stopping twice a day for my feka.

I have heard that the Swedes are some of the happiest people on earth.  I guess so, they are full of tea and cookies.  They have a 99% literacy rate (!) and some of the best schools in the world.  Here is the downside, they pay 60% in income taxes with heavy taxes on food and liquor.  Sweden’s religion is Lutheran and when you are born you automatically become a member of the church.  You are required to pay 2 ½% of your income to the church.  Helka discussed the influx of immigrants from Iraq and Iran who were seeking asylum in Sweden.  I’ll bet they aren’t happy about that tax.

The one redeeming feature of this excursion was a stop to a bakery in the countryside.  They set up tables in the garden near a thatched house.  The weather was beautiful and the cookies were delicious.  The owner said they were mostly made of butter.  Paula Deen must get their recipes.   Before the bus driver could start the bus, he had to take a Breathalyzer test which is required each time a bus driver goes somewhere.  Helka said that alcoholism is very problematic and this is one way to address the issue.  She frequently stated that the government was overly intrusive in the people’s lives.  High taxes are placed on liquor.  Helisingborg is across the water from Denmark so they frequently go there to buy their food and liquor.

One thing about a cruise is that you will at some point be faced with “cruise junkies.”  They can’t wait to tell you about everywhere they have been.  I hate sitting with them at dinner.  Boris and I requested a table for two in order to avoid this.  None were available so we were assigned to sit at a table for eight.  Only six of us show up each night so that left two empty places.  Fine by me.  Again, I was wrong in thinking I didn’t want to sup with anybody but Boris.  One couple is from Houston.  He is a chemical engineer and she is a retired teacher.  He is a member of the “Century Club” which means he has been to more than 100 countries.  Actually he has been to 126 and we have so far heard about 75 of them.  Susan and Michael, the other couple, are from England.  They are in the 70’s and are absolutely charming.  I told her I wanted to put her in my bag and take her home but we have a 50 pound weight limit on our bags and I am already up to 50.5 pounds.  I have put their picture up on the blog.

Well, tonight the unthinkable happened.  The other couple showed up after the 6 of us have bonded.  They are from Russia originally but now live in New York City.  Vladimir talks constantly and I can only understand about every 10th  word.  He also flails his hands during his one sided conversations.  I had to sit by him and I just knew he was going to give me a black eye.  He is probably an interesting guy but you have to strain to understand him and after he says something he stares at you until you give some type of response.  I was absolutely worn out by the end of dinner.  Vladimir, having lived in a Communist country for 40 years, is very proud to be an American.  He said he has traveled all around the world and the US is by far the best.  That made me pause and regain some of my pride in our country.  He enjoyed political conversation with himself and made the statement, “I did not come to America to become a Democrat.  I want to be free from the government.”  Pretty profound.

At the moment I am still fighting off my Vladimir-induced headache.  We are going to get up at about 6:00 in the morning because we will be going through the fjords and I don’t want to miss a thing.  I am going to wrap up in a blanket, sit on my balcony, and be grateful for this experience.

Signing off,
Natasha