Terri's Jubilee

I cannot believe the fanfare over my coming to England!  The Queen (with her purse) and her subjects have celebrated all weekend over my coming here.   When our ship left, there was a band playing, everyone was waving flags and wearing red, white and blue hats.  I have never felt so welcomed anywhere!

I will begin at the beginning  of this trip.  I thought I had dressed quite cute for the long journey and asked my family, "Well, how do I look?"  No one even looked at me.  But when I told them I was a little "stoved up" and had to take a fiber pill, every head snapped up and they said, "Who takes a fiber pill before going on a 24 hour trip?"  In retrospect, maybe it wasn't the most brilliant idea I have had but a necessity.  I guess they were worried about the fiber pill and the white pants I had on.  Anyway, everything worked out fine.

Our flights were on time and very comfortable.  We flew from Newark to Heathrow on a Continental 777 jet and I must say it was the nicest plane I have ever been on.  Bill, with his crowded plane issues, had paid extra for bulkhead seats where we had more leg room.  I, in my brilliance, suggested we book the window and the aisle seats in hopes that no one would sit between us so we had a lot of room.  I was actually quiet and slept for about three hours.  We left Memphis at 12:30 and got into Heathrow (Memphis time) at 1:00 a.m. (7:00 their time).

I have been reading some neuroscience stuff about how the brain learns best.  Smell is something that can enhance energy, learning, calmness, etc.  I read that at Heathrow customs area they piped in the scent of pine to calm everyone for what is sure to be a frustrating experience.  I was anxious to experience this.  Going through customs is a very frustrating experience because the lines are ten times those at Disney World.  And, I didn't smell any pine.  I told Bill it was supposed to smell like pine and all I smelled was BO (body odor).  He said, "I think you are smelling me."  Yes, it had been some time since we had showered but I think there were quite a few people who were unwashed for days that were interfering with my calming pine experience.

It took us almost 2 hours by bus to get to Southampton where the ship was.  This should have taken a lot less time but since everyone was coming to London for Terri's Jubilee the traffic was terrible.  Once we got to the ship line, we had to go through security (again).  Bill had to be patted down, an experience he is starting to enjoy.  Then they put you in a huge room that reminded me of Ellis Island.  A sweet wee lady with a loud microphone would call people up to get on the ship based on the color card you were given and the letter of the alphabet.  She started with the green cards, letters A through H.  After you were called up you stood in line to get your picture made so they can sell it to you later.  Therefore, the line moved slowly.  Then she called those up with the red cards letters A through L.  She would tell you to come up by saying, "Please break away forward."  Well, Bill and I had an orange card with the letter G.  I was under the impression that we would get preferential boarding since we had sailed before with this cruise line.  Not so.  Then I started seeing people with red cards going when the green cards were called and  I lost control.  I told Bill to hide his card and get in line.

I do not like my picture made but particularly after flying 5,000 miles with crappy food, my fiber pill perking away, and possibly BO Bill.  So when it was our turn to have our picture made, I told the lady I was in the Federal Witness Protection program and could not be photographed.  We were hurried along.

 To my sons humiliation, I will talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything.  I sort of collect people along the way.  While I was in the Memphis airport waiting for my flight, I saw two middle age women with Elvis shirts on.  I could not resist.  So, I told them that I lived near him growing up and saw him all the time.  Boy, those ladies were delighted and I held them in rapt attention until I was bored with myself.  Now they will have something to tell their friends when they go back to Canada.  I almost asked them if they wanted me to have their picture made with them but felt that was going overboard.

The male flight attendant on our plane to Newark had an accent.  I love to play the game, "I bet I can guess where you are from."  I was right about this one.  He was from Belfast and we chatted it up a bit.  Apparently he liked me and I looked hungry because he whispered to me and gave me a free snack box.  As I was walking out the plane he slipped me a note with the name of a castle I should see when I go there next week.

Waiting in the airport at Newark I started chatting it up a bit with a flight attendant.  He told me how to convert Celsius into Fahrenhiet and reminded me to keep my seat belt on throughout the flight and stay seated when the seat belt sign was on.  He went on to tell me that there have been incidences where people were walking around the cabin and when the plane hit turbulence they hit their heads on the ceiling and were paralyzed.  At that point I was thinking about that fiber pill and what would happen if we had turbulence.

So we are on the ship and toured Brugges Belgium today.  I will write about that tomorrow.  The ship is full of English people on holiday.  Therefore, I must say that Bill and I are the most attractive people on the ship and have the best teeth.

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